Home of the fumbler…

It’s fall in Toronto and the last couple of weeks have seen a cramming of multiple changes of seasons in my relationship with a significant other in those few days. She left a couple of weeks back for Thailand to attend her sister’s wedding and we didn’t get to be together for the two days immediately prior to her departure. She just disappeared for those two days. She had her reasons. Then I took some actions to soothe my paranoia that hurt her too. The days prior to that incident were full of turmoil – turmoil that seems so trivial and unncessary now and makes me regret my inability to see things in perspective, and my inability to get past my hurt. Perhaps she feels the same too.

There was more separation in store…almost a week after she got to Thailand that I had no idea if she was ok and she did not know how I was doing. But perhaps it was all for the best. While that separation hurt, I think it became immediately evident to both of us in those days of complete isolation from the other that a life apart is not something we can handle, at least not well. Our whole world views seem to be defined by our ability to count on each other and not having the other person to turn to completely screws with our sanity. That moment almost a week ago – that late Saturday night when she finally called – I remember relief, and joy – and eagerness to put aside whatever anger and worries I had about the few days prior. That experience of happiness when a moment before I could have thought of a hundred things to despair about – it tells me the simplicity of what we mean to each other.

The week since…it’s like something has finally clicked for both of us. We are suddenly showing each other the best of us, not the worst. We are both naturally afraid to take things for granted or to hope too much – but finally…perhaps…we both want the same thing.

She is Emmy. She however insists on being called Princess Peaches aka PP. Don’t ask *shakes head*